Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
