A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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