i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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