before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
