She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
