I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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