I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
