I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
