Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
