Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
