Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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