I wish my penis had an off switch
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
