She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
