so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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