Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
