Nicole vs. Life
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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