I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
