glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
