i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
