go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize