I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
