I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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