I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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