His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
