you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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