Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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