so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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