when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
