tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
