Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize