where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
