Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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