Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize