You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Green mimosas i think yes
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Randomize
