oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
