We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
