I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
