Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
