My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
