obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
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It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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