About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
