The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
