Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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