i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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