Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
