alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
