So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
