I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want to make out with him forever
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
