Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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