so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize