my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
