I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
