Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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