i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
