im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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