Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
