I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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