i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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